Tuition Prices & Wisdom

What is your relationship with money? Where is the most expensive school you’ve ever attended? I went to Texas Wesleyan for Productions and Humanities. I am planning on starting more YouTube videos and starting a series. Snapchat was our primary source of our learning experience. I need to sort through and look at my Transcript. I am having to payback Texas Wesleyan $8,000.

I Miss My Old Guitar & Being Musically Inclined. This video was taken about 10 – 12 years ago.

My times at UTA; where another expensive time in my life and I have an outstanding loan for about $4,000. Man! I need to purchase some Blue Tooth Headphones. It would probably be cheaper to buy them online, huh?

This morning I listened to a Podcast using the app Player FM and I’m loving listening to Podcast. The Topic was Social Anxiety Disorder; by “BlindBoyBoatClub”. He talked about how we have a child, adult, and parent side to us.

I wanted to get my backpack and purse back from a friend of mine but my main person wouldn’t let me. Instead of what I normally would have done; by getting upset I took it gently and didn’t get upset and I probably won’t get my stuff back but I have been blessed with mostly everything I need.

Fall’s Here & Starting To Learn Emotional Stability

As the weather start’s to change, I started my job working at Heritage Daycare Center. We started about 1PM; sorting invoices, receipts, and mail that my manager had. I woke up at 4AM; my roommate made coffee, and we’ve been watching tv. I’m studying, and drinking coffee and we’ve had a few cigarettes. I’m currently taking a course on Coursera.org about Managing Emotions in Times of Uncertainty and Stress. We’re also watching Joyce Myer’s talking about relationships.

Emotional Stability to me means; being held accountable, working through trials and differences, and changing into a better person. I see my Psychiatrist today through a meeting with my case manager this week and a video conference. My roommate noticed I have been feeling insecure and depressed recently and I haven’t been my cheerful self. I talked to My Dad yesterday and lately we’ve been talking about health.

As humans we experience an array of different emotions. For example starting my job helped me feel more relaxed and needed and happy. Though when I think of my social life I get lonely, hard on myself, and regretted with guilt. Honoring these emotions can be empowering and can lead to positive action.

Making The Most Of It

Making The Most Of What God Gives

“After looking at the way things are on this earth 🌎, here’s what I’ve decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that’s about it. That’s the human lot.”

Ecclesiastes 5: 19 – 23

I spoiled my self today and bought a Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino at Starbucks for $6; I’m trying to find other things that give me peace besides smoking cigarettes. My case manager picked me up from Heritage and we went to a cool discount store, 5 and below, The Spirit of Halloween, and Target. I didn’t buy anything else but seriously I’m trying to cut back on cigarettes.

One way we can make the most of life; is to plan accordingly and always be prepared. My hand is still pretty messed up on the right. I have been taking my antibiotic and my Dr. gave me some iodine but I only have one left.

How I’m Spending The Weekend …

Going to stay sober this weekend; and mostly mind my own business. Going over to that trailer isn’t what’s idea for me. Especially since I’ve spent 20 Days in inpatient rehab and I told my Case Manager I wouldn’t go over there anymore. I am going to organize all my stuff this weekend. I still have a bad cough and I still don’t feel 100%!

I have the room to myself on Hightower St. and listening to T.A.T.U.; I went to Goodwill today and bought a hot pink and black backpack and a pair of Rainbow Stripped Nike sneakers.

Found my vaporizer; … be careful who you trust! I had a good day at Heritage Center. I won some Mike N’ Ike’s Tropical Typhoon. Just got done smoking a cigarette and talking with Dad on FaceTime. There’s no TV in here but I love my mini HP laptop.

I got two books today; Captivating by John & Stasi Eldridge and The Night Portrait by Laura Morelli. I need some more vapor oil and the weather is so hot that your ice cream would automatically melt.

Time With My Son

When I FaceTime’d My family yesterday my 7 year old wanted to see me. I was excited since I haven’t gotten to see him in a long time.

First we went to 711; and Dad handed me $25. My little boy got recess pieces and a medium slur-pie… I got a pack of Teal American Spirits & a medium slur-pie. At the house we went swimming and tried to get the printer 🖨 to print some bookmarks. Then we had Wendy’s for dinner.

Heat Waves & Hospital Stays

Its 6PM & I got home from the hospital at 3PM; our weather is getting hot 🥵! My group home MGR received my discharge paper work & gave me my five cigarettes. I have been in the “Mesa Springs” 🏥 since the 25th.

I was surprised that My True Mental Health Personnel was taking me to the 🏥 on Friday. I just got informed that we needed to stop 🛑 services with True Mental.

Each day during inpatient rehab we had about five group sessions lead by the Therapist and Nurses. We learned how to communicate better and there were about 9 people in my group in the “Willows Division”! For the most part I drank a lot of coffee and sodas in my new Tumblr and for the last three days I had no cigarettes to smoke 💨.

I’m happy to say I’m home 🏠; I also called & FaceTime with my Dad & he sent me $50 on my Venmo account. I got into the MHMR vehicle and met my new case manager and before he dropped me off at the house he helped me by taking me to the Shell 🐚 and I spent $12 on a pack of American Spirits 🚬🪛 Military Green & a green lighter.

Pulling A Camp-style All Nighter

I saw on the news; that they are giving 👮‍♀️ tickets to people that are camping without a camping 🏕 license a $500! I’ve been to group and individual camps… 17 times!!! In the past; visiting friends & family. I miss … Youth Church Camping! My son is taking summer school instead of camps this year; but he recently got kicked out for hitting his teacher.

Ever since I was a little girl “My Family” has been very outdoorsy! I’m a country girl by heart 💜 I’m also into anything strange and different. My Dad took me to “The BassMaster Classic” & I’ve lived good and gotten to go fishing with my Father over 15,000 times! I grew up a Daddy’s Girl! We traveled a lot when I was little following my Grandfather and Grandmother!

I also had a bad attitude on some days & was normally lazy on other days. Then productive on some days with mixtures of fun 🤩 included. I first went camping when I was 14 1/2 with a group and the main king was ❤️ John! Johnny Boy … See you on the other side of the train 🚂!

First when I was 15; it was me & my roommate at McNeese Boulevard. I was impacted by Hurricane Katrina and received a FEMA / FAFSA ✅🦣 I enjoyed my dorm and at that time … I was “Slightly Stooped” on a “Cheap Trick” because I was so young, naive, stubborn, and pride always comes before the fall.

When I returned back where I went to school in DeRidder; then I started working at “Golden Corral” selling okra and carrots 🥕 I was considered a “Porch Money” & I have spent 32,000 hours outside as a “Cherokee with a Chief” & With A “Officer In Command”!

The list of names is wrong in my opinion; although there’s things I’m currently doing to increase the good and fortune 🔮 things of my future… In America 🇺🇸 Things have been very uncertain & I hope that everyone received some good financial strength as of lately.

Biden; please guide this country by the Wisdom reached at a communal Christian fellowship. I did really well at TCC in AP Government & I would love ❤️ to watch the new “Purge” Movie 🎥 📲 !!!

So I took a step back … it’s like I’ll move 1 step forward and 2 steps back & two steps forward and one step back. I danced up a storm today & totally it’s been worth it seeing & remembering a face of the past.

Be Safe; on your next camping trip <&?!>

1. Choose your friends closely; remember your always responsible for how messed up you get! If you can’t handle your drink or your smoke… step aside & find a quiet way to chill.

2. Keep up with your personal belongings; no one in “Adult World” is going too; although friends are there to help at times we can and cannot be trusted.

3. Leave the bullshit before going into the social area; this applies first to work, then to learning educationally, then at romantically engaging in activities. 💕 Miss xoxo Suicide Girls!!!

It’s 3:10 & that about wraps up this $10 peace ☮️ offering & me & my buddy still out straight white girl chillin! I’ve got a case manager coming at 8AM!!

Raining Dreams

Good Morning; it’s raining 🌧 and storming out here in Texas. Just ate breakfast; of grits and sausage & had a cup of coffee. Yesterday; I went to Bethel Church and had a decent day of sleep.

I try to have a good attitude most of the time; and the weight of the world 🌎 can not sit on one’s individual shoulders. You only give into evil if that’s your choice; after all there was created both evil & good in this world.

You are However; responsible for the maturity and growth you pertain as an individual. That’s what success is measured by… I’m learning that it’s not by simply getting along with everyone but to live in harmony through the good times and the bad.

It’s supposed to be raining for several days; and here in Texas we can always use the rain ☔️. Things aren’t always up to us. I have never known all the reasons or answers; but I do what I can to survive in this life. Praying each day to God; for the rest of eternity.

Doodling & Patiently Waiting To Do Laundry

Today is laundry day; before I moved out of my parents house; I remember days when I would stand in front of my mothers washer and dryer and do loads of laundry. I had a good life back then with my parents & lately I’m emotionally missing them; thinking of all the ways I had been disrespectful to them & myself in my 20’s up till recently. It’s been 2 months (Since I got back from H.E.B. Mental Hospital in Denton) & 2 weeks since I’ve gotten back from JPS & I’ve been doing better each day.

Waiting patiently is really what matters. I know now that all the times I’ve left with a bad attitude to do something destructive about 5 to 7 times; was the wrong choice. I am thankful that SSDI & my parents; help me every month to pay my rent of $675 & Dad sends $50 through Venmo every Friday.

Holding on to what you have & not getting involved in other people’s business; while at the same time being helpful & kind; is something that has become more important to me. I am wanting to become dedicated to the “Long Term Help” I have & am receiving each day.