A Calm Sunday

Good Morning!!! Just had coffee and my quiet time; thinking about things I can blog about. Our care giver arrived and we had cereal; our medicine and smoked cigarettes. It’s 10:34AM and just came inside too my room from smoking a cigarette. I just put hydrogen peroxide and some Neosporin on my fingers. They hurt and I am hoping they get better; I trust God with this situation. I want to be more creative and have more to write about.

I’m currently taking a few courses on coursera.org

  1. Managing Emotions In Times of Uncertainty and Stress.
  2. The Science of Wellbeing.
  3. Everyday Parenting: The ABC’s of Child Rearing
  4. Sharpened Vision: A Poetry Workshop

Last Day Of August

I am enjoying taking my online courses on coursera. Yesterday I completed my homework and I used my new notebook to take notes. I am taking Wellbeing, Parenting, and Poetry. Yesterday we went to the corner store which isn’t too far but in the heat it’s kind of far about a mile. I walked with my housemate to the store and bought two large cans of Big Red and a pack of supreme cigars. Our care giver just came by and gave us our medicine.

Then my case manager came by and we went to Brauhm’s and got a cookies and cream milkshake and a thing of fries. She asked me if I had ever done deep breathing exercises and if I would consider to stop smoking. I’m still waiting for my dentures and am excited about getting them; but more about how I’m going to take care of them and not lose them this time.

A few weeks ago on my Birthday one of my case managers bought me a Goals Journal. In the journal there’s Monthly Goals. For this month my goals were too,,,

My Top Three Core Values

  1. Family & Group Life
  2. Integrity & Persistence To Wellness
  3. God & Learning

My Goals We’re

  1. Receive and Take Care Of My Dentures
    Seems rushing things doesn’t help it’s the last day of the month and I still have two more sit downs with the dentist to receive my dentures. I am so thankful that my insurance is paying to get a pair of dentures. It’s been since 2016; since I’ve had teeth in my mouth. Called Medico this morning and they we’re closed.
  2. Set a Good Morning and Afternoon and Night Routine.
    I meant this to be good but seems I still haven’t achieved that goal. I want to have the best days I can and stop myself from being so lazy and really too start caring about life more. I still read lots of articles on Pinterest daily mostly while I’m at Heritage. Though seems our days lately have been geared towards smoking cigars or cigarettes and complaining. The planner I bought is being put in good use as a Gratitude Journal. I have had many days this month I have been blessed by.
  3. Stay At Group Home.
    I’ve learned the hard way to just stay home or only go out with trusted care-givers. I want to increase my safety and have my Family trust me more and more. I can improve through daily small actions and being accountable for what I am doing.
  4. Blank

Current Events

My little one got checked for Co-Vid19 and we’re happy to say he doesn’t have it. I bought him a toy car today, and me a notebook to do my assignments from Coursera in.

I’m watching the news; the United States has completed it’s Mission in Afghanistan. My Father is a Veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom. 6,000 Americans out of Afghanistan . . . They have been there for 20 years and now we can celebrate that they are home.

Being Careful

I hit my hand and started talking in some weird gibberish I don’t quite understand. I say I don’t understand it because I was embarrassed. Has anyone else ever had the feeling of being yourself but not quite sounding like yourself. This is something that has happened to me for the past seven to ten years. I think they call it imposter syndrome . . .

Anyway; The voices were talking about how the person couldn’t help that he doesn’t have health care. I am so lucky to be on SSDI; despite my many battles with insecurity. I have a great support system here and don’t want to make the mistakes I have before of leaving the safety and security I’m currently and hopefully will be in for a long time.

As the season is changing; I am starting to feel better. I just got my injection from MHMR Friday. Our weekend has been pretty uneventful and it’s been mostly calm and silent. Hoping to have a good day at Heritage Day Care Center.

My little one got checked for Co-Vid19 and we’re happy to say he doesn’t have it. I bought him a toy car today, and me a notebook to do my assignments from Coursera in.

I’m watching the news; the United States has completed it’s Mission in Afghanistan. My Father is a Veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom. 6,000 Americans out of Afghanistan . . . They have been there for 20 years and now we can celebrate that they are home.

Sunday Bible Study

I haven’t been involved in a Bible Study in a long, long, . . . time. Honestly the last time I went to church was over two months ago. I’m listening to Motivational Videos and researching how to do my morning Bible Study. I want to draw closer to God and really trust him. It says to not lean on your own understanding and that we’re not in charge.

Joyce Meyer’s : How To Study The Bible

https://joycemeyer.org/everydayanswers/ea-teachings/how-to-study-the-bible

I need a change in perspectives and my attitudes; lately my housemates have stated that I’ve become more like myself after I got out of rehab right before my 34rd Birthday. Don’t look at what you don’t have; look at what you do have and thank God for everything you already have. Trust God to restore your body, soul, mind, and spirit.

“And so this is still a live promise. It wasn’t canceled at the time of Joshua; otherwise, God wouldn’t keep renewing the appointment for “today.” The promise of “arrival” and “rest” is still there for God’s people. God himself is rest. And at the end of the journey we’ll surely rest with God. So let’s keep at it and eventually arrive at the place of rest, not drop out through some sort of disobedience.”

Hebrews 5 8 – 11

Every time I read God’s word I find insight and understand greater amounts about God’s love for all of us. I really needed this verse . . . I have given up too much and too easily. I don’t want to talk about how many times I have run away or how I dropped out of college. We are all on a journey; and my life has been better managed here. I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette while I was in the middle of the verse. One of our daily highlights of the day. Your opinion does or doesn’t matter; I respect you all because you have come to read my blog.

Back To School

I’d like to go back to school but first I need to contact my Colleges Academic Advisor to see in which direction my degree plan will work out. I know I have completed about 114 hours in Advertising and Public Relations. I haven’t done anything academically since I dropped out of UTA in February of 2017. It’s been six years; since I’ve done anything academically.

I did find however Coursera.com where I can take online classes for free. I enrolled in one called The Science Of Wellbeing. It’s online and I measured how happy I am and I scored a 2.3. I have been living here since 2016 and have a good number of friends. I am glad to be safe and protected by the house care givers here.

I haven’t been blogging lately; My Group Home manager said it would be good for me to start my blog back again earlier when my Dad took me and the family’s little guy to go buy laptops when we got out 2nd Stimulus check. I need to research the things I’d like to talk about in future blog post. I bought The Message and I’d like to read more of it and share with my readers what I am learning. I’d like to post at least three times a week.

Self-Care On The Weekend

Thinking about life lately; It’s Saturday Morning and I’m sitting on my bed with my writing materials. I went to eat Chinese food with my Dad yesterday. Lately I’ve been thinking of ways I can improve my life… I want to be there for everything in my life and start down a road of recovery.

Career and School; My mom and son are starting back to school soon. My Mom’s going to get her second Bachelors degree and my son is going to the 2nd grade. I have completed 114 hours of college in the Bachelors of Public Relations and Advertising. The last courses I took are Humanities and Production at Texas Wesleyan.

I want to start to improve my life by continuing to build my portfolio and writing more meaningful blog post. I may not be able to go back to school; but I can use what I have learned so far to grow as an individual.

Health & Looking Good, Product Review; I bought myself some make-up this week from Target and the dollar store. I bought a face powder and eyeliner from Target and some razors. After not shaving for a while it was really nice to be able too.

L. A. Colors Conceal Correct. L’OREAL True Match Super-Bendable Powder in neutral. This powder goes on so smooth and really feels good on my face. LAC Eyeshadow In Nude; I like light color eyeshadow. E.L.F. No Budge Retractable Eyeliner that’s black. Blush. E.L.F. Lipstick.

The Little Things

All the little things that we choose to go through in life; make up a big difference. I’m sitting on the bed going through the little things I own. I just went shopping with my case manager and bought some eyeliner, face powder, razors, and a sketchbook. Also I bought a purse that’s magenta by Wild Fable at Target. I spent about $36 . . . I had a real heart to heart with her and Now I’m working on my blog and thinking about all the things we talked about.

I haven’t been feeling too good; I have been really depressed and I want to go on a better path in life. One of sobriety and celebency; one where I am really rooted in Christ. She told me that I need three reasons that I really love myself.

Psyche Meds & Slurpies

My case manager picked me up today and we went to Sonic where I got a red-white-and-blue slushy. I also had dinner with my family yesterday and went to 711 to get slushies. It’s the end of summer as fall is approaching us. My case manager dropped off my medicine; there’s like 6 different medicines I’m taking.

Here at the group home we take our medicine in the morning and at night. When the lady in charge hands out our meds when she gets here. Then again at dinner time when we are done eating dinner.

When your in a hard place you have to learn to do the best you can. Everyone has been very supportive upon my arrival from the hospital. I am safe here and am not going anywhere. I want to start improving myself; and knowing myself more. I want to know what it is that makes me . . . me. I have been back from the hospital for about two weeks now and the house workers have been very supportive. I have a new roommate; and waiting to move into the new house at Meadowbrook.

Thirty-Four

Starting a new chapter in life as a 34 year old. I want to be more responsible for where I will end up three to five to even ten years from now. I can’t go anywhere and it’s best that I just stay here and enjoy life the best I can. I have been reading the book “Captivated” and we are the Bride of Christ. Meaning that he gave us life and everything we do should bring him glory and honor.

As August approaches; I am reminded to remain where I am planted. To keep doing my best everyday and trust God with the direction of my life; and not to act out of my own will.

We didn’t go to The Center today; but my Case Manager just took me out to eat at Braum’s. We just had dinner of pork chops.