Fall’s Here & Starting To Learn Emotional Stability

As the weather start’s to change, I started my job working at Heritage Daycare Center. We started about 1PM; sorting invoices, receipts, and mail that my manager had. I woke up at 4AM; my roommate made coffee, and we’ve been watching tv. I’m studying, and drinking coffee and we’ve had a few cigarettes. I’m currently taking a course on Coursera.org about Managing Emotions in Times of Uncertainty and Stress. We’re also watching Joyce Myer’s talking about relationships.

Emotional Stability to me means; being held accountable, working through trials and differences, and changing into a better person. I see my Psychiatrist today through a meeting with my case manager this week and a video conference. My roommate noticed I have been feeling insecure and depressed recently and I haven’t been my cheerful self. I talked to My Dad yesterday and lately we’ve been talking about health.

As humans we experience an array of different emotions. For example starting my job helped me feel more relaxed and needed and happy. Though when I think of my social life I get lonely, hard on myself, and regretted with guilt. Honoring these emotions can be empowering and can lead to positive action.

Telling The Truth

I haven’t always been at my best; but during the dark times God has gotten me through it. I just went outside to go smoke and finished a third cup of coffee. As I was finishing a couple of my housemates came outside. Today we’re going to Heritage; soon I’ll be able to work in the office. As long as I don’t let cigarettes or excuses get in the way. We have to stick to our assigned smoking times.

“On a good day, enjoy yourself; on a bad day, examine your conscience. God arranges for both kinds of days. So that we won’t take anything for granted.:

Ecclesiastes 7 : 14

In the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 8; reading from The Message. The author talks about Not taking anything for granted. How building a good reputation is important and not investing in hurt and grieving. I know it’s been a rough Co-Vid 19 crisis and I just got tested. I am planning on getting my shot soon. Also I have my injection tomorrow.

I have notebooks I like writing in. Especially “The Serenity Prayer” journal my parents bought me for My Birthday. Yesterday was my roommates 34th Birthday. Though I need to call the wound specialist and set an appointment to have my hand looked at. It still hurts; but hopefully everything will work out and it’ll be able to get fixed. I use my right hand to write and don’t know if that’s a good idea; even though I love writing. This lesson has taught me not to journey off by myself. Especially not during a winter storm.

Ecclesiastes 1 – 3

We can choose to become a prisoner of our own minds and breaking out of the habit of beating yourself up can be hard. Though it is one thing I have been working on. I have enrolled in two courses on coursera.org to change this kind of thinking behavior.

The Author of Ecclesiastes states that everything he did or was doing would amount to nothing but smoke. Don’t get me wrong but; that seems to be the highlight of my housemates and me, is smoking throughout the day. I would like to cut back on my smoking. I spend a lot of money on smoking; and it’s my goal to quit buying cigarettes. In the last month I’ve probably spent $75 on cigarettes.

” And I hated everything. I’d accomplished and accumulated on this earth. I can’t take it with me – no. I have to leave it to whoever comes after me. Whether their worthy or worthless – and who’s to tell? – they’ll take over the earthly results of my intense thinking and hard work. Smoke.”

Ecclesiastes 2 : 18 – 19

I only make $150 a month and am currently looking for more income. Though to do that I’ll have to be healthy and more proficient with my time. I however, unlike this author of Ecclesiastes. Don’t feel my life has amounted to nothing. I feel God has really blessed me; but I haven’t been a good steward of the gifts and abilities that He has given to me. I have had very tough times in my life where I have completely destroyed my health.

” But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I’ve had a good look at what God has given us to do – busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in it’s time – but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he is coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it – eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s Gift!”

Ecclesiastes 3 : 9 – 13

I

haven’t used since my Birthday; and since my Birthday I have been doing much better. I have so much to be grateful for and I want to do better each day that God gives me. I am learning to better use my time. As my manager at Heritage recently offered me a position in the office.

September

Woke up this morning at 6AM; went to bed early. I know that It’s a new month and fall is here. Waiting for the heat to turn to a cooler breeze. My Dad paid my rent and I’m home and safe. I’m listening to some motivational videos.

I love to learn new things and I’m all caught up on my homework for my courses from coursera.org and am wondering through the course catalog searching for more that I may be interested in. I have an extensive Pinterest Board List and want to start making some money by blogging, although blogging for profit has never really turned out good for me.

My little one got in trouble yesterday for hitting a kid at school. I know times can be tough; and insecurities run deep. I’m learning how to deal with people nicely and respectfully also. We have to learn, and sometimes it’s the hard way, that we can’t always do what we want without consequences.

Reading The Bible At Home

I still haven’t finished my book “Captivated” by Staci and John Townsend; I’ll read another chapter today. I read Proverbs 20 – 21; this morning and I am so happy we have God’s word to abide by.

Woke up at 6:15AM; We had a rough night here at the group home. A new lady kept coming into me and my roommates room turning my lamp on and asking to use the phone at 11:45AM. Another new guy just left with a bad attitude; and he took my backpack that I lent to one of the guys here.

I just mentioned to my Home Manager that I had been blogging and she said she was proud of me. In my Instagram photos you can see the pictures of my fingers and the other day my Case Manager took me to JPS to get my hand looked at. They took x-rays and i gave blood although the Doctor said nothing was wrong with them and sent me home.

My Home Manager said it would be good to talk about my experiences and what goes on at the group home. I talked to my returning housemate and she said she was interested in starting a blog also; so I’m going to help her set one up. Hopefully when I get back from Heritage Day Care Center. The pastor is coming to pick us up in a little bit . . . about 30 minutes from now.

My other housemate goes to the center with me. The other ones went to Golden Choice. At the centers we have breakfast and lunch and we color or write. Sometimes we play BINGO and we watch movies or tv. I love getting my coffee in the morning and most of the time ask for a second cup. Most of us are in this situation because we are disabled; but that doesn’t mean any less of us. God made us all and all of us are special.

What A Typical Day Looks Like

I wake up normally around 7:45AM; and go smoke at 8AM. Then we wait for the Pastor to get here at about 10AM and go to Heritage Day Care Center. We eat breakfast and lunch there and I draw or write and we smoke cigarettes. Then head home at 2:30PM. Then we wait until dinner here at the house.

I have my roommate and we get along pretty good. I like staying at the Group Home. There hasn’t been too much that life has handed me that good God hasn’t helped me turn from. I want to see my family; and I hope my family life improves. I hope something comes to mind as far as goals and what I can do in the future.

My case manager comes by about three times a week. Today we went to Mission Arlington, but there was too many people and it was getting late. She gave me four adult coloring books and I bought a pack of Camel Crushes and a Slurpee at 711.