Fall’s Here & Starting To Learn Emotional Stability

As the weather start’s to change, I started my job working at Heritage Daycare Center. We started about 1PM; sorting invoices, receipts, and mail that my manager had. I woke up at 4AM; my roommate made coffee, and we’ve been watching tv. I’m studying, and drinking coffee and we’ve had a few cigarettes. I’m currently taking a course on Coursera.org about Managing Emotions in Times of Uncertainty and Stress. We’re also watching Joyce Myer’s talking about relationships.

Emotional Stability to me means; being held accountable, working through trials and differences, and changing into a better person. I see my Psychiatrist today through a meeting with my case manager this week and a video conference. My roommate noticed I have been feeling insecure and depressed recently and I haven’t been my cheerful self. I talked to My Dad yesterday and lately we’ve been talking about health.

As humans we experience an array of different emotions. For example starting my job helped me feel more relaxed and needed and happy. Though when I think of my social life I get lonely, hard on myself, and regretted with guilt. Honoring these emotions can be empowering and can lead to positive action.

Telling The Truth

I haven’t always been at my best; but during the dark times God has gotten me through it. I just went outside to go smoke and finished a third cup of coffee. As I was finishing a couple of my housemates came outside. Today we’re going to Heritage; soon I’ll be able to work in the office. As long as I don’t let cigarettes or excuses get in the way. We have to stick to our assigned smoking times.

“On a good day, enjoy yourself; on a bad day, examine your conscience. God arranges for both kinds of days. So that we won’t take anything for granted.:

Ecclesiastes 7 : 14

In the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 8; reading from The Message. The author talks about Not taking anything for granted. How building a good reputation is important and not investing in hurt and grieving. I know it’s been a rough Co-Vid 19 crisis and I just got tested. I am planning on getting my shot soon. Also I have my injection tomorrow.

I have notebooks I like writing in. Especially “The Serenity Prayer” journal my parents bought me for My Birthday. Yesterday was my roommates 34th Birthday. Though I need to call the wound specialist and set an appointment to have my hand looked at. It still hurts; but hopefully everything will work out and it’ll be able to get fixed. I use my right hand to write and don’t know if that’s a good idea; even though I love writing. This lesson has taught me not to journey off by myself. Especially not during a winter storm.

Daily Chores & Parenting

Sitting on my bed at the Group Home; where I do most of my typing for my blog. I sent my parents a sweet text message; that they haven’t responded back too. Hopefully we are able to go eat dinner on Wednesday at Ninja Sushi for my Birthday. I’ll be 34 in two days; meaning I need to start following life rules better and stay in better health using all the help provided.

I love reading my new book “Cultivated” By John & Stasi Eldridge which I got a Goodwill; and it’s been a great means to getting me back in check to my Christian walk with the Lord. We just did the chores around the house . . . I helped by wiping down both bathroom counter surfaces and cleaning the toilets and sweeping the floor. Now that I’m almost 34; I’m finding it in myself that I want to do the right things.

I want to be there for my Family and my son; I have had a pretty rocky relationship with several good times in between since 2016. I had the best intentions on New Years of this year but seems I still messed up. That’s part of being human; but there must come an age where all of that has to end. I want my son to see that I really do care about him. I was so excited when he asked me to come over last Thursday; and I facetime my family on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s.

Everything here is safe; and I can’t jeopardize my safety.
Time to start a new and healthier was of life that will benefit myself and my loved ones; as another chapter of my life comes to a close.

My Stay At The Hospital

I just got out of “Mesa Springs” Hospital 🏥 I’ve been in the hospital almost 20 days this month. I got out at 9:45AM & my MHMR case manager picked me up. The food 🍱 was great and the stay comfortable. I am at “Heritage Day Care Center!” Where I’ve been since I got dropped off.

They put me on some new medicine and I have started to feel better although I have a pretty bad cough. The discharge papers are in an orange 🍊 folder and ready for the manager of Cave Care to view. Hopefully I can see that I can move into the new house on Meadow-brook.

I am planning on going to outpatient therapy and doing the best I can.

Heat Waves & Hospital Stays

Its 6PM & I got home from the hospital at 3PM; our weather is getting hot 🥵! My group home MGR received my discharge paper work & gave me my five cigarettes. I have been in the “Mesa Springs” 🏥 since the 25th.

I was surprised that My True Mental Health Personnel was taking me to the 🏥 on Friday. I just got informed that we needed to stop 🛑 services with True Mental.

Each day during inpatient rehab we had about five group sessions lead by the Therapist and Nurses. We learned how to communicate better and there were about 9 people in my group in the “Willows Division”! For the most part I drank a lot of coffee and sodas in my new Tumblr and for the last three days I had no cigarettes to smoke 💨.

I’m happy to say I’m home 🏠; I also called & FaceTime with my Dad & he sent me $50 on my Venmo account. I got into the MHMR vehicle and met my new case manager and before he dropped me off at the house he helped me by taking me to the Shell 🐚 and I spent $12 on a pack of American Spirits 🚬🪛 Military Green & a green lighter.

Juneteenth € 16 MM

Just blessed My House Manager wishing her a Happy Juneteenth 🥧 … 🌭 … 🍟 …🥤… Today has been an extremely blessed day 💕 !! I’m mostly Taiwanese & My Grandpa fought in the North Korean War!

Everything happens for a reason! My Father sent me $50… As it’s Friday 💰… My Father also said That we’re going to go out to eat at my favorite restaurant on the 20th! His favorite father is Pop 🥂 PoP Floyd 🍾 @Jin’s by the Target 🎯 I first worked at on Cooper St.

Blogging & Moving Forward

I have had my blog since January & I have noticed some things that irritate me about my blogging. For instance according to a post the average of a post should be 2,000 words. Also I need to be more in depth about who and what I am & stand for as an online entrepreneur.

Right now; I’ve been posting about my day to day and not driving too much traffic to my site. At the moment I’m using my iPhone 11 to do my post & WordPress wouldn’t allow me to post from my HP Laptop.

During the days of the week; I go to Heritage Day Care Center and I have been posting a lot about it. The Pastor; picks me up about 9:30AM to 10AM. Then as soon as we arrive; we have breakfast and coffee.

My little sister graduates from UTA today & I’m happy for her. Both of my sisters have graduated from UTA. My Mom; has also graduated from UTA and she’s thinking about going back to school. I have completed my Junior year at UTA & have completed Humanitarian Arts & Production at Texas Wesleyan. I’m hoping I can get student loan forgiveness.

I want to provide more content for my readers & start doing more for JF-Designs. I was recently accepted into “UTA’s AD & PR Network”.

Back To The Roots

“Gutten Morgan!”; That’s German for Good Morning! In July I celebrated my 33rd Birthday with my parents at a German restraunt; and we ate a lot of good food.

That was 7 months ago; I was born in Frankfurt – Germany. A lot has happened since then but I love remembering the good times that me and my family share. My Dad is a disabled Veteran in the Army and served in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Bosnia. My whole family line on my Dad’s side served in the Military and we have a strong background dating back to the Civil War times. Although; he and his twin brother were adopted from Taiwan.

My mother told me yesterday that her side could be described as Native American. I find it interesting about the history of my ancestors now that I am getting older. I use to not give a crap and ran away often to stop my depression and anxiety. I am glad to say I have started this year on a better step and ready to face the challenges that come instead of running away. Currently listening to Ted Talks; and learning things that attain to me right now.

I would be interested in learning more about these cultures and have taken Humanities at Texas Wesleyan as well as Productions; I took these college courses in 2016. This week I want to focus on having a good morning routine and I am going to start calling the counselors that me and my case manager for MHMR found last Friday. Learning is more important than money in my opinion since it can never be erased.

2021 Goals For The New Year

  1. Start JF-Designs
  2. Start Blogging and eventually start blogging for profit
  3. Stay in the group home and not wander off. Also learn how to become more independent and self reliant.
  4. Staying closer to God and the Christian community.
  5. Draw and Write more often.
  6. Start Doing Yoga; started and completed a video today that was a 20 minute yoga starter video on Youtube.
  7. Stay off drugs and the streets.
  8. Take my meds & use my heart rate
  9. Read 5 to 10 Pinterest articles a day to learn more information to use and write about.
  10. Read 18 books; my first book of the year is “The Explosive Child” By Ph. D. Ross W. Greene.
  11. Make Self-Care a priority in life and set a good routine for the day.
  12. Eliminate bad habits one by one.
  13. Keep my room nice and neat and use Hygge.
  14. Put half of my money in savings account and half of my money I can use throughout the month.
  15. Have a greater sense of Family and community.

Working On My About Me Page Today & Social Media:

I need to be careful what I share with the online world. As I am Bipolar and Manic Depressive. I was born in Germany to a great mother and father who have done their best to help me throughout my life. I currently live in a group home. We just had breakfast; of eggs and sausage and toast. I enjoy creativity and learning and experiencing all life has to offer.

I get hard on myself and need to take things more slowly in life and learn to listen to God and follow my heart to make the right decisions. I have faced times of doubt and have had relapses with drugs and hanging with the wrong crowd. I graduated high school in 2015 from DeRidder High School in Lousiana.