I’m sitting 🪑 outside Harris Hospital at 6:38 PM … 💨 Harry & The Bandit. Woke up 🔝 6:00AM; after my roommate woke me up kindly to drink a cup of coffee but to my demise it wasn’t till 7:30 I took my first drag of what today held in store for me.
Drinking orange 🍊 soda; waiting to be picked up by the Taxi 🚖 Driver … you guessed it! JCF is …
Just blessed My House Manager wishing her a Happy Juneteenth 🥧 … 🌭 … 🍟 …🥤… Today has been an extremely blessed day 💕 !! I’m mostly Taiwanese & My Grandpa fought in the North Korean War!
Everything happens for a reason! My Father sent me $50… As it’s Friday 💰… My Father also said That we’re going to go out to eat at my favorite restaurant on the 20th! His favorite father is Pop 🥂 PoP Floyd 🍾 @Jin’s by the Target 🎯 I first worked at on Cooper St.
I saw on the news; that they are giving 👮♀️ tickets to people that are camping without a camping 🏕 license a $500! I’ve been to group and individual camps… 17 times!!! In the past; visiting friends & family. I miss … Youth Church Camping! My son is taking summer school instead of camps this year; but he recently got kicked out for hitting his teacher.
Ever since I was a little girl “My Family” has been very outdoorsy! I’m a country girl by heart 💜 I’m also into anything strange and different. My Dad took me to “The BassMaster Classic” & I’ve lived good and gotten to go fishing with my Father over 15,000 times! I grew up a Daddy’s Girl! We traveled a lot when I was little following my Grandfather and Grandmother!
I also had a bad attitude on some days & was normally lazy on other days. Then productive on some days with mixtures of fun 🤩 included. I first went camping when I was 14 1/2 with a group and the main king was ❤️ John! Johnny Boy … See you on the other side of the train 🚂!
First when I was 15; it was me & my roommate at McNeese Boulevard. I was impacted by Hurricane Katrina and received a FEMA / FAFSA ✅🦣 I enjoyed my dorm and at that time … I was “Slightly Stooped” on a “Cheap Trick” because I was so young, naive, stubborn, and pride always comes before the fall.
When I returned back where I went to school in DeRidder; then I started working at “Golden Corral” selling okra and carrots 🥕 I was considered a “Porch Money” & I have spent 32,000 hours outside as a “Cherokee with a Chief” & With A “Officer In Command”!
The list of names is wrong in my opinion; although there’s things I’m currently doing to increase the good and fortune 🔮 things of my future… In America 🇺🇸 Things have been very uncertain & I hope that everyone received some good financial strength as of lately.
Biden; please guide this country by the Wisdom reached at a communal Christian fellowship. I did really well at TCC in AP Government & I would love ❤️ to watch the new “Purge” Movie 🎥 📲 !!!
So I took a step back … it’s like I’ll move 1 step forward and 2 steps back & two steps forward and one step back. I danced up a storm today & totally it’s been worth it seeing & remembering a face of the past.
Be Safe; on your next camping trip <&?!>
1. Choose your friends closely; remember your always responsible for how messed up you get! If you can’t handle your drink or your smoke… step aside & find a quiet way to chill.
2. Keep up with your personal belongings; no one in “Adult World” is going too; although friends are there to help at times we can and cannot be trusted.
3. Leave the bullshit before going into the social area; this applies first to work, then to learning educationally, then at romantically engaging in activities. 💕 Miss xoxo Suicide Girls!!!
It’s 3:10 & that about wraps up this $10 peace ☮️ offering & me & my buddy still out straight white girl chillin! I’ve got a case manager coming at 8AM!!
I went shopping today with my case manager this week. We went to Hobby Lobby, Michaels, and Jo-Ann’s and Finally they accepted my card on my phone at Target. We had fun driving around listening to Natalie Imbruglia and eventually we both had “Starbucks”. After I bought a pair if U Brand Eco Pens, and a Notebook, and A New Planner… I bought me a Strawberry Funnel Cake Frappacino.
I use my iPhone 11 and Chime to pay for things; as of lately. Since they had to send me a new card.
My little one got in trouble at school; and I talked to my Dad for about 20 minutes today.
Good Morning; it’s raining 🌧 and storming out here in Texas. Just ate breakfast; of grits and sausage & had a cup of coffee. Yesterday; I went to Bethel Church and had a decent day of sleep.
I try to have a good attitude most of the time; and the weight of the world 🌎 can not sit on one’s individual shoulders. You only give into evil if that’s your choice; after all there was created both evil & good in this world.
You are However; responsible for the maturity and growth you pertain as an individual. That’s what success is measured by… I’m learning that it’s not by simply getting along with everyone but to live in harmony through the good times and the bad.
It’s supposed to be raining for several days; and here in Texas we can always use the rain ☔️. Things aren’t always up to us. I have never known all the reasons or answers; but I do what I can to survive in this life. Praying each day to God; for the rest of eternity.
Thank you for my first comment! I had better intentions; I knew but in someway or another I always ran away from being the most responsible person that I could be.
It wasn’t that I was ill equipped; but my Care Giver this morning said “Stop Playing With My Intelligence…” and the care giver from last night stated that “Life is Temporary…”.
My Grandfather’s we’re Poppa Floyd & JB Skeleton… Meanwhile; I have invested into a working relationship from all parts of a Social Structured Economy $ Where we all share of similar ideas, values, and expressions.
In a way these are harsh statements, but I think that they are in my best interest to start finally seeing life as it comes and take it step by step to daily improvement.
I am not a bad person; I’ve (AKA) just not always been the wisest or most determinedly disciplined. If you have done your research you would have known that both of my grandparents have fought in the Korean (Korsmo) War.
Things I Want In My Future;
My friends to really trust me and to build good relationships built on mutual respect and not just because we have to get along but because we genuinely want to kindle a relationship that is everlasting. Seems God made us for relationships; and in the past 11 years I have ran off the people that came into my life.
Not having everything perfect is kind of what makes things fun in life; but I do want to take better control of my situations in life and be a good steward of the life God has provided. We all pay a price and nothing comes for free; there’s nothing like the difference between knowing that your doing the wrong or right things. Right now I have been slowly easing into a transitional phase of starting to do the right things versus putting away a life that was damaging.
Daily Steps In The Right Directions; today I want to do some research and my main source of research is Pinterest. I have been sober three months and have been feeling better. It’s amazing how all aspects of life effect each other. You can’t only be focused on one area of your life and let the others go to the wastelands. You also shouldn’t find yourself stuck in the wastelands as a humanitarian I have lived in all sorts of manners; some pleasing and some not to pleasing.
I need to take pride in what I have; I have a house that is mine and friends that are mine but realizing that coming of age if your not doing your best to keep up with everything in mind of retrospective and setting improvement everyday… You fail to neglect your responsibilities which only hurts yourself; I’ve needed this phase of repair for about 11 years; no body is going to live for you and at the end of the day no one is responsible for how you speak, act, or behave but yourself.
Managing what I have is not too hard; and I need to stop being so lazy. My parents have been preaching this for years and I’m finally seeing that I was making myself miserable and only I’m too blame for the choices I made. I don’t plan on continuing these bad choices; but when you make up your mind to do something you need to stick to the original plan and not embark on choices of random will; then you’ll be known as a flake. .
This Morning; Saturday Is Downtime – We don’t go to the Center on the Weekend and I heard from my manager that our group will start work but she will tell us when.
Before my old roommate passed away her future husband gave me a book 📚; I have read barely even chapter one of “The Real World” by Natsuo Kirino. I’m on page 18 …
My roommate is still asleep; and I just had the best cup of coffee and a cigarette. I need to think hard about what direction my life is going in… I called my family from the store yesterday; after I said I wouldn’t. I say one thing then turn around and do something totally different. I’m just not making sense right now. That’s the hardest thing I have to deal with is really speaking truth and making something out of myself.
Now don’t rush off and judge me; It seems we see things that other people don’t see and I mean well and normally keep to myself. Though; there’s definitely great room for improvement. Like doing more work around the house and taking pride in what God has provided for me here. I have a desire in my heart to see myself reach things that I wanted to achieve ever since I was 23 and get into a good lifestyle of taking care of myself and my belongings. I’ve learned the hard way that if you don’t take pride in what you have you loose it. There’s already so much I have lost but there’s still so much to gain.
My roommate woke up at 12:30PM; and asked about breakfast… She told me not to wake her up. So I tried to stay out of the room most of the morning. I woke up about 9AM; and I just want to relax today and do some research on how I can improve the quality of my life and doing better from now on.
Pinterest Articles & Tips On Improving Your Life
Ways To Build Confidence;Instead of running off or calling my family or getting mad at staff or at housemates I need to understand that I am in charge of myself. These people are here to help me but they can’t be used as a crutch; I have all the resources I need to improved my life. I just need to stop and take the time to use the resources to the best of my advantage and not the people. The Golden Rule; treat other’s the way they want to be treated holds true and lately I don’t think things have been going in the best way that they could.
Tips & Learning
I’m looking for a counselor and needing to schedule appointments for things like an OBGYN and a Dental Appointment. These things are my responsibility although I have MHMR there to help; my case manager said this week that I’m able to schedule these appointments on my own and do my part of the work. After all; these things are to improve my overall health and in my best interest. The key point here is too be responsible and take intuitive into your own hands.
Confidence can be described as a feeling of self-assurance from one’s ability… As I’ll be 34 this year I am a Grown Woman of God and no longer dependent on my family as much as I was. Although; I say that I need reassurance from myself and I have grown apart from my family and they don’t make the decisions meaning that I do. I need to be less codependent on them and start focusing on what’s right for me.
Everybody’s purpose and life are different; although we all share the same house we all should contribute. Stop Comparing; maybe things weren’t fair when you were little you have to let go of the hurt and drama and set yourself free from the pain of oppression you feel within yourself. You can’t let others walk all over you and you have to stand your own ground.
Some of my best skills and qualities are that I’m a good listener and I make an effort to help others feel like their included. I enjoy the arts and writings; and I also enjoy learning and working on living my best life. I would like to improve on my list of skills and qualities in the next 6 months.
Don’t let other people control you; there will always be rules in life. The best thing to do is go by the rules and not just do whatever you want. I have been in jail three times; and don’t intend to go back. That means staying in the Group Home and following the rules. Don’t let peer pressure and justifying the norms determine what direction you are going in life.
I woke up at 8AM this morning; and my case manager picked me up at 10AM to go to the PCP. I have had a good but hard day; for one my WordPress is working on my laptop and I just took a shower and washed my long black hair. My care giver has been wanting me to take a shower everyday and start taking better care of myself since we have moved into this house. The PCP said my hand has gotten better and she was shocked at the improvement. I wrote about in a previous post that I had gotten frost bite in February when I walked out of the Group Home and it started snowing. I finally returned on March 12th and I’ve been sober for three months now. I go back to see my PCP on the 17th; and it’s important that I keep all my appointments.
I Was Diagnosed At 11: As Bipolar after going into Nicoma at my Grandmother’s kitchen table and I feel asleep for two weeks in the hospital. As I got older I’ve been diagnosed as Bipolar Skitzophrenic, Border Line Personality Disorder, and Manic Depressive. I am on a good bit of psych-meds and am being seen by the MHMR team here in Fort Worth. I just took my medicine given to me by my care giver.
Family Values: I need to get right with myself; before I can get right with my family.
I’m not planning on calling my family everyday but earlier I couldn’t help it; and sent Dad a Text. Worrying about how they are doing; does no good. Right now it’s best just to give them space like they have asked for. My parents are adopting the little boy I gave birth to who just turned 7 on December 28th; and we don’t have a good relationship last time I called he said he hated me. Though in the past this has left me wanting to run away; which I have five times. God; I put this into your hands and go to God in guidance to separate me from this vicious cycle. Dad had asked me earlier this week to reach to my ex who left when I was 7 months pregnant and just added me on my old Facebook for his address and phone number to get him to sign the adoption papers. Though; he never sent them and Dad said I ran him off.
I still love my family; although I am the black sheep in the family after doing several things wrong; and the last time I have seen them is on Mother’s Day a couple of weeks ago. “I may not have been the best daughter, mother, girlfriend, or friend; but I was always myself and tried to do what I could. I release all of these broken bridges to God and let it rest until it improves!”
How I Can Start Taking Better Care Of Myself
Focus on myself and my relationship with God; before focusing on myself around others. To be in good relationships you have to be taking the best care of yourself.
I need to set a dental appointment and try to get dentures.
I need to set an OBGYN appointment.
I need to take a shower everyday; and wash my face in the mornings,
I need to take my heart rate everyday,
I know that’s not the right answer now and staying in The Group Home is in my best interest.